3 Months In

(Finished March 2021)

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith– more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire– may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

(highlights in bold)

When are we more likely to set our trust in God: when all our needs are met or when none of them are? I think you know the answer. It’s those times of duress and insurmountable difficulty that bring us to our knees in prayer and pleading. I wish I would pray just as well in good times as in bad, but as I look through God’s word, neediness is actually a prerequisite for salvation. It is actually a gracious gift to suffer and feel in need- for it is only there that we can test whether God is actually true to His promises. We must know that we are insufficient to provide ourselves with joy, peace, health, life, and especially salvation. Sure, we can adjust our attitudes to claim a brighter perspective on life. Sure we can change our diets to benefit our health and elongate our lifespan… but do we really think those self-administered changes are going to last forever? The wealthy certainly have better means to delay the inevitable, building walls of insurance around their valuables, but, frankly, loss of joy, health, peace.. life.. is just that: inevitable. This may evoke fear in you. Fear is not an altogether negative emotion, though. It is built in to propel us toward trusting in God. Most of us, though, find it paralyzing to give God control over these areas of our lives.

Jesus Christ was asked by the rich young ruler, in Matthew 19, what one must do to obtain eternal life. Jesus says to “sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me” (v.21). Now, how would you feel about selling your only bed? How about your only car? How about your entire house and everything in it, including that one thing you would go back for in the event of a fire…?

Have you ever pulled weeds? Sometimes they have small roots and they are easy to pluck out of the ground for a future bonfire. Sometimes they have longer roots, either deep down or spread over a wider area. I recently was tasked with pulling what seemed to be a small crop field of neck-high weeds. I would dig a shovel-length or two down around each thick root and yank and pull and tug until the root snapped and left me with the upper mass. The most frustrating part was that the roots were so thick and long that I can’t say that I saw a single root tip. Every last one of those vile weeds left their core in the dirt to flower again next spring…

Sometimes a change in diet or an adjustment of perspective is as quick and easy as the small weeds that give us no trouble at all to pluck. But Jesus makes known to us the ‘treasures’ that have sunk their roots deep into our hearts, things we have come to rely on. things that we claim to ‘need.’ Is it comfort and stability? Is it a relationship? Is it productivity? Or the dream you hope to attain?

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In what do you trust to make you finally happy? What is it that gives you identity or hope or confidence?

These are the things we’ve been addressing already in this seminary career. Only 3 months in. The question runs constantly in our minds: “Are we really supposed to be here?” I find myself constantly comparing the wheat to the weeds. In reality, weeds grow faster, they spread out more abundantly, and sometimes they even look more appealing than the good plants! But everyone knows they are really a poison to the garden. Most of life offers us opportunities to compare ourselves. I’ve struggled not to compare myself with my peers, but it is impossible not to notice those bestowed with an abundance of knowledge, or heart, or holiness. We’ve struggled not to compare our current situation with the dream-jobs we had before this calling. “Are we really supposed to be here?”

We’ve struggled through anxious prayers about finances, the health and wellbeing of our boys, the surrendering of old dreams. “Are we really supposed to be here?”

We’ve wrestled with adjusted job descriptions and schedules, with sleepless nights as new parents, with isolation (being in a new place in the middle of coronavirus). “Are we really supposed to be here?”

A common way to begin most post-secondary education is to throw as much work at a student as possible in their first semesters, so as to ask, “Are you sure you want to pursue this career/calling? It’s a ton of work, you need to fit into specific molds, and, oh yeah, it’s really expensive. Are you sure you don’t want to spend your money and efforts somewhere more convenient?” Or “Are you really supposed to be here?”

This is what they call the ‘weeding process’. Fitting 🙂

There’s another type of weed that is similar to the last one mentioned (i.e. the deep root one). Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 13 about a master who plants grain in his fields all to find out, soon after, that a rival has planted weeds all around the good seed and the plants begin to grow together, the bad strangling out the good. The competition of values within our hearts works similarly to this word picture. When the Lord plants the good seed of His Gospel story and the gifts of His Spirit, those plants grow. But the devil wants to dissuade and distract us from tending to these good seeds and finding other comparable ones to nurture. The problem is: they are not actually comparable. They grow quickly, they spread quickly, they even often look more appealing.. but they are poisonous. The Lord watches as we neglect the truly nutritious plants for the fake ones and he has a choice: pull them both or wait until the harvest to separate the evil from whatever little good produce is left. Praise the Lord for His patience and mercy! The master says “Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.” (v.30). In another place, God says his word will not return to Him void, or without effect. He will not pull out the good seed of the Word within us, because it is the best part of us, the part most like Christ, the part that knows God and loves Him and trusts him. We must tend to the good grain and pluck out the weeds quickly, before they strangle the wheat. But if that process has begun already, trust that God will eventually bring justice and tear those things from us without utterly destroying us.

What does this all have to do with the verses at the top? The values of the weeds of the world and the values of the good seed of the Word will always be at odds until the Final Judgment of God. On that Day the dross and dirt and weeds will be recognized for what they truly are – vile, poisonous, thieving – while the wheat and precious metals are brought to their completeness in “praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:7). You may have noticed two types of fire here. The Matthew passage brings our attention to a fire that will burn at harvest-time, or Judgment Day, burning up all that which is evil. The fire in Peter’s letter, though, is very different. This is a fire reserved for the believer, and it actually proves to be what saves him from that eternal fire of Judgment. That faith which is genuine is one that has been tested by trial and temptation and doubt, but resurfaces with a newness, a shine, an unfading polish if you will.

I once was told that seminary has a similar furnace-like effect: it will make or break. It will differentiate between the wheat and the tares. It will drive several to newly invigorated faith and others to unbelief. I pray, and I ask for your prayers, that my family will emerge from each season of new testing here with a deeper surrender to God’s will over ours and God’s word over ours– that He might pluck the weeds before they wrap themselves around what is truly precious.

And lastly, while we are on the topic of plants and fires, allow me to consider one last passage. In Matthew 6:28-33, Jesus continues his ‘sermon on the mount’ by saying “And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious… But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Praises & Prayer:

Our new home church, Calvary OPC, has been more than generous since the birth of Salem in bringing us meals all the way through December!

The Lord provided an on-campus friend for Nate to study with, while most students are studying from home and Nate needs a study space away from home. His name is Jay Dent.

A local student family welcomed us for Thanksgiving dinner when our plans changed last minute. Thanks Hope & Garrett!

Nate and Jay began a men’s accountability group with some other students.

About every 4 weeks of intense reading, Nate gets ‘Reader’s Block’ (not a form of sunscreen), which gives him headaches and forces him to rest when he needs to work.

Katie has been struggling with the isolation, compounded by an over-active 2-year-old who’s coping with a big change.

Thank you for your prayers and for praising along with us. Glory to God.