The Fowler Four

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Morning Mercies New

written 8.15.20 ish

(step into the past with me and forget everything that has happened since September. I wrote this blog post 2 weeks into our August 1st arrival in PA, but soon realized we didn’t have a platform for sharing… so we now have a blog! I’ll follow up with a more current post soon 🙂

{If you’re crunched for time, just read the bold portions and you’ll catch the “cliff-notes.”}

Have you ever had the feeling that external circumstances were occurring specifically for your individual benefit? Let me give an example:

A couple of weeks ago Justus and I (Nate) were playing with water on our tiny back patio while Katie took the car out to run errands. All of a sudden, a lightning storm approached with great power and velocity, striking quickly with only seconds of pause between blasts. We saw the lightning as if just on the other side of our neighborhood with a trajectory heading immediately toward our small strip of townhomes. So, the two of us ran inside with barely enough time to dry off, nuke some popcorn and set up front row seats at the window (what else does one do with no car, no basement, a confused child, and potentially only minutes left to live?). So I prayed. A lot. And to me, Justus was the naive, confused child I was posing tranquility for. To God, that child was me. I was scared. I was confused. But He wasn’t a scared dad faking poise. The lightning engaged a couple hundred feet away out to the right side of our window view, then 30 seconds later out the left. I could feel the vibrations tremble through my chest. Justus looked at me with shock, hoping to learn something from my words or reactions, so I acted excited and awe-struck at the wonder before us. But I was on the brink of terror! My heart began sinking with despair. Was I witnessing my last moments of life? And my sons? What about all the plans and preparations that the Lord had been making for our family to move to Pennsylvania for seminary? What about Katie? Would she come home to the horrific scene of some concentrated execution of judgment and be forced to raise our coming son on her own?

“Lord,” I prayed, “forgive me for my lack of faith, but please protect me and protect this child you’ve lended to me. Make good your promises to me,” I pleaded, “and the plans you are working out for our family! Remember the many times you’ve preserved my life from the grave (stories for another time) and remember your purposes for me!” The storm clouds hovered over our comparatively miniscule existence called ‘home,’ and I finished with “Not my will, but Yours be done, oh Lord. I will watch and wait.”

Silence.

Pure, utter silence as the clouds passed over our home. I moved our chair to the window at the opposite side of our townhouse and whispered small comments to the boy in my lap as he stuffed popcorn in his mouth and announced just what he had experienced out the other window: “Thunder BOOM!!” Over and over again. Katie arrived home just after the clouds passed over us, but the rain still beat down incessantly, so I shielded her with an umbrella and she joined us inside. Just after closing the screen door, lighting broke out again at the same pace as before, but this time a couple hundred feet on the other side of our house. So we pulled up a seat for Mama and shared our popcorn and stories with her while we watched, with contrastingly light and thankful hearts, as the storm departed.

There’s too much to unpack here in just a short time.. The number of lessons to learn from a moment’s experience is so vast! We could consider the practical nature of wiser things one could do in the event of a thunderstorm. We could explore the spiritual implications, like God’s faithfulness, or the benefits of watching and waiting prayerfully, or the nature of mercy, etc. Instead, I’ll utilize this story as an example of the kinds of ways the Lord has generously, and often miraculously provided for my family.

I try, daily, to remain aware of new mercies as God presents them. I like to keep track. Not for bragging rights or to sound holy, but simply to give God credit for what He’s done! “Yeah, Katie bought me this shirt,” or “Oh, Justus helped make these cupcakes!” we say when we want to praise others and bolster their reputation. Why shouldn’t we do so with God’s good gifts, too?

So, to end, I’ll share with you 10 mercies God has shown us over the past few months, and, in so doing, offer you an update as you worship God with me through these.

Mercy extended my employment an extra month- Coronavirus adjusted our plans to resign from my job at Mercy Presbyterian Church at the end of June, rather than May (providing us more time with our beloved church family, and one extra month of pay to smoothen our transition to PA).

We held the yard sale we needed for fundraising, and more- COVID also deterred our plans for an April yard sale- hoping to build funds for furnishing a new home while ridding ourselves of the unnecessaries. Then we received a notice in May that there would be a neighborhood yard sale the last weekend of June! (a huge success, especially in tandem with Katie running communications on Facebook Marketplace for better prices on more valuable items).

Mercy planned a sweet send-off- My last Sunday serving as the Music & Youth Director at Mercy Presbyterian was one of the most beautiful I’ve experienced in the 10 years we’d been attending. I led the music unplugged and simply let the Church’s voice maintain prominence for each song (something I regret not doing more frequently). The Church sent us off with prayers and well-wishes, allowing me to share, at both services, the Lord’s unfolding plans for us. Many planners, including the Toumala’s, the Ellsworths, the Rigg’s and others I didn’t know of, hosted an intermission between services, designed to allow church family to talk with us and say final goodbye’s. Our Mercy family offered many thanks, many love gifts, many hospitable events and meals and many more invitations than we could attend. Could we, of ourselves or our own volition, have prepared such an abundantly orchestrated send-off, bundled with comfort and encouragements like a toddler in a foam pit? Give glory to God!

July was vacation month with family and old friends- At the wise suggestion of our Pastor, Bryan Rigg, we decided to take July as a vacation month- visiting friends and family and spending time together just as a family of 3 before baby boy is born (due Oct. 25th). So we rented an AirBnb with a group of my high school besties (once a group of 5, now 14 with wives and children) for 4th of July weekend, and it was an absolute bucket-filler! The next week we visited with Katie’s family in South Carolina, and the following week mine in Maine. As always, many memories made, but not an abundance of “nothing-time.” Restful and memorable, but not particularly relaxing, I’ve decided. Nights in hotels were rough on the family, but we made it work. Justus struggled with the lack of routine, long hours in the car, and little control over his circumstances, but all in all he was such a champ throughout and we shared some beautiful memories with him (first swim, first time hearing a lion’s roar, first time kayaking, first time falling out of a kayak, first full ice cream cone (in SC and Bar Harbor and Bucksport- we went all out), first zipline (playground), first time in a “hootel,” first road trip up the east coast, first time feeding horses, and first family move!). After all this, we had one week in our old home and we packed to leave August 1st.

God provided the perfect apartment- Due to wise counsel in Virginia (particularly Moose Pierce), we switched our mindset from buying a house in PA to renting an apartment. The realtor we had chosen just so happened to be the mother of a prior Westminster Theological Seminary (WTS) student and owned a couple apartments she and her husband like to rent to WTS students. And.. there was a spot opening up the summer before I started classes. Over mobile phone videos and on Google maps, the place seemed just right. The agent’s/owner’s reputation is flawless online, and her interactions with me were very loyal and considerate. But one can only be so sure. So we committed to faith, knowing Someone Else was looking out for us more than we could ourselves.When we moved in, we found that we live in one of the best areas (for our liking) around! We’re at the end of a cul-de-sac, 3 miles from the seminary, with the track of a large and beautiful catholic high school at our backs. It’s a quiet neighborhood, branching off an important road with abundant options for the necessities (groceries, doctors, eateries, banks, phone carriers, etc), but the traffic is relatively minimal and the road offers sidewalks on both sides. Across the street is a notable gas station with the lowest prices we’ve found anywhere, and a park less than half a mile away! We live in one of the most notable townships for quality education and everyone I’ve met, thus far, is SO NICE! How could we have planned all that out so perfectly?? The Lord’s kindness alone.

The Lord provided an excellent moving crew, both in Lynchburg and in Glenside (PA)- With the help of the Ellsworths, Whites, Hixs, Foxs, Ethan Davenport and Matt Morrison, we exited Lynchburg in our just-in-time UHaul truck (arrived on the lot 15 mins before we needed to pick it up for packing), with our favorite breakfast of Blue Ridge Bagel’s breakfast sandwiches and Joe Beans’ frappuccinos. Upon entering Glenside, the apartment owner showed us around, gave us our keys and then came my team of recruited laborers (mostly recruited by my good friend and prior pastor, Dr. Rob Edwards)- among whom were Rob, Josh Dempsey, Alden Groves, Joel Richards, Ben Thompson, Ben Picard, and Jen.. soon-to-be Picard, haha. A stunning crew on both ends, and an opportunity to meet some quality people on this side of the story. We are comforted to have a couple slices of our old home (Rob and Josh) here in our new one. Thanks, Lord.

The Lord provided a job for me within 1st week!- A good friend from Maine, Seth Dorman, whom I sat with in classes from 7th-12th grade frequently debating theological arguments, just graduated from WTS this spring. He left behind an open position at a small business called “JHandyman,” helping people around the area finish their home ‘punch lists’ (any job from hanging curtain rods to building a deck, and much more). He offered me his boss’ contact information and I had kept up with Mr. Waggoner a few times with some externally foiled plans for meeting. Thankfully, by the Lord’s grace, this reputable man was returning to a full pace of work and needed a hire to fill Seth’s shoes (big shoes to fill- I think he’s a 12 and I’m a 10), so he offered me breakfast and made comfortable conversation, then hired me on the spot! I’ll be working full-time until classes start, then scale back as needed. Wow, Father! Thank You!

Katie found an OB doctor- After much thoughtful research and inquiry, the names of a few particular hospitals and a few particular doctors passed through our/Katie’s ears and Katie made the jump. Her OB in Lynchburg, Dr. Pierce, is phenomenal and we have been so grateful for His counsel over the years. After many phone calls to various doctor’s offices, gathering information, yet not locating the exact office where recommended OB’s were providers, Katie has found a hospital and a doctor. When the first appointment was scheduled, the only OB available was with the same highly recommended OB, by a WTS wife, who is quickly becoming one of Katie’s friends. This is only the Lord’s doing!

We got new phones and a new/old stroller (story)- Katie and I have intentionally stayed 4-5 years behind the current trends on most things, but specifically phones. Prior to our new phones, I had an iPhone 5 and Katie an iPhone 6. Since our travels (and possibly a dip in the lake), our phones have been burning up while in use, killing any semblance of battery life, especially in times of greatest need. . . (pull out the paper map!) so we bought new phones! This has been on our to-do list for the last 6 months or so, and we just have not found the time, nor wanted to spend the money. Soon after, an amazing deal popped up on our Verizon account for a necessary upgrade. Sadly, the upgrade only applied to my phone, but I trudged on for a glorious deal! So, interestingly enough, the day that I decided would be fully devoted to purchasing new phones for us, the nearest store was closed due to power outages (Katie had the car, so I rode my bike). Also, recently half-ish of Verizon customer service employees were laid off since COVID, so wait times were deathly long. And the phone reception at our apartment is very spotty. And so.. I spent an entire workday trying to contact customer support, or really anyone who could help, to no avail. So… I guess it was the next day that was truly devoted to buying new phones- and it was like a dream… I walked in to a warm greeting from the area operations manager and he set me up with some amazing deals, both on phones and internet options. I was done in an hour. Then, on my way back home, I remembered a double stroller I had previously seen waiting, roadside, for trash day (This was an important item on our ‘nesting’ list). So I put my hand out to signal a left turn, angled my handle bars in the right direction and there was the trash truck, two stops away from the stroller. I raced to the scene and made it with time to spare. I folded up the stroller, plopped it on my bike seat and walked home a very, very proud and grateful man 🙂 I took great joy from the hymn “I Stand Amazed in the Presence,” on my walk home. Thank You, thank You, thank You, Father.

Thank you, reader, for taking the time to worship with me through our June, July and August stories. Thank you for lifting up praises and requests for the Lord’s favor on us, His servants.

I will end with a few prayer requests.

-Please pray for our baby boy’s health and a smooth delivery (due Oct. 25th). So far he has proven to be very healthy and active.

-Please pray for Katie, anticipating labor and considering some form of part-time work in December/January?

-Please pray that I’ll be responsible with my studies (as I tend to favor the practical/physical project over the academic one)

-Please pray for a new Church home (a new Mercy, so to speak, haha) while we miss our cherished, prior one.

To God be the Glory. May His peace and joy follow you all the days of your life as He continues to do for us.

Our sincerest regards to you,

The Fowlers

P.s. Be on the lookout for a newer post soon!

The Broader Report on the Fowler’s Trip to Honduras

1 Year In

(meant to be written August of ’21)

(actually written January of ’22)

1st Full year of Seminary, CHECK!!

While I’d love to be creative and put together a dynamic blog post, this post will need to be more brief. So, here goes:

First Year Courses:

Greek 1, 2 & 3; Pastoral Theology: (1) Intro Class & (2) Evangelism and Missions; Systematic Theology: (2) Prolegomena (Doctrine of Scripture) & (2) Doctrine of God; Church History: (1) Ancient Church [100-600] & (2) Medieval Church [600-1500] Apologetics 1 & 2

Summer 2021 Intensives:

Hebrew 1 & 2

Extracurricular Involvement:

Chapel Music: I was asked to assist in leading the music worship for the weekly chapel services. I committed to 1-2/month in the Fall and 3-4/month in the Spring.

Men’s Group: a group of young men (9 including myself) banded together to grow in community and personal accountability during a year of distance learning.

Women’s Groups: Katie got involved in several groups, especially with other mom’s who could both sympathize with her current calling/stage of life as well as provide community for her and our littles. “WTS Fellowship wives” held weekly walks, a few zoom events and conducted small group studies that regrouped into a larger setting a few times during the semesters. “Calvary Mommy & Me” (our home church here) scheduled weekly play dates for mothers of small children. A few seminary wives organized a small group for mom’s– in large part to have adult time away from the kids- which met weekly from 7:30-9:00ish at night.

Significant Memories:

Justus and Salem are growing like weeds (and sometimes behaving like them). Though their physical development has been a pleasure to watch- Salem has just begun taking steps- it has been particularly encouraging to watch Justus begin to internalize the theology his is being taught. He told me he loved me the other day and upon my inquiry “what is love?” he answered, after a pause, “to forgive and obey.” He is also asking fundamental questions, like “who made God?” And he is learning the connection between how God acts toward him and how he ought to act toward others. Consequently, we are thankful for the number of friends our boys are able to interact with on a weekly basis, through the bounty of women’s ministries available. And we so appreciate the countless different ethnicities and cultures they, and we, can experience to gain a fulller grasp on the Lord’s work all around the world.

Life Lesson:

One particular theme I have been learning over the year is the value of family. I am frequently restless with guilt over not seeking out opportunities to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, comfort the broken-hearted, enable the weak, love the lonely, and so on. I came to the realization that I can satisfy all those longings simply by returning home at the end of the day. (this is not to say that we ought not to still go out and help others in those situations, but it’s confirmation to know I’m still obeying God by stewarding these gifts well).

Thanks, Lord, for the opportunities readily at hand because of Your provisions.

Significant Memories & Locations:

Written Recap (no particular order): Throughout the semesters, Katie and the boys visited several parks, trails, farms and museums. Salem got his first dose of snow. Justus broke his leg. Salem had surgery to remove a mass of extra tissue in his lower lip. Thanksgiving was with the Maryland Cashens. Christmas was with the Fowlers. Easter was with the Maryland Cashens (Mammy and Justus made pillows!). Summer travels included Nashville, TN with my sisters and their families, as well as our church family in Lynchburg, VA, stopping at Richmond, VA, and Bowie, MD, on the way home.

May the reading of this bring you joy and hope for your current season of life. I pray that you have benefited from this as I have.

7 Months In

(March 2021)

Well, hi again! What an honor to have you joining our journey 🙂 Just wanted to say ‘Thank You!’

So, we’ve hit the 7 month time marker and you’d think we would be steadying out our ‘eventfulness meter’ by now. Nope.

–We experienced our first real, Northern winter (technically not northeast/New England, but pretty close) as a family.

It was really quite wonderful teaching Justus how to manage himself in the snow, and so fun to watch him enjoy it! We are at the end of a cul-de-sac, so by the time the city plow finishes his job, we get an enormous mound to play on… that blocks our driveway for 3 days (Justus loved it, and it’s not like we had anywhere to go, but our landowners got it figured out for the future). Made some really wonderful memories with Justus.. and then…

–Justus Broke his leg sledding.

There are about two options for sledding in our backyard: a small, slow slope and an steep, dangerous one. Guess which one I chose… Well, let’s back up a little. Justus and I went out sledding several times before he broke his leg, both on the slow and on the steep slopes. We had tons of winter fun up to this particular point in February. He helped me shovel, we slid around in the driveway, we enjoyed the 6ft snowbank plowed in our driveway, and we had our share of exciting snowball fights! Justus absolutely loves the snow and he was itching to get out any chance he got. So we went sledding a LOT.

Then, one day, just before dinner and before the sunset, I decided to take our little busybody to the hill. But last nights snow had been rained over and there was a sheet of ice above the powder. This means that a 35lb kid will operate on the snow very differently than a 150lb man- in essence, I would pack down the ice while Justus simply glided over it. A perfect opportunity to choose the safe hill and have a blast! Nope. the safe hill was a few hundred yards further, so I opted for the steep hill. Yes, the steep dangerous one with a chain-link fence at the bottom. In the past, I could stop our sleds with plenty of time to spare before arriving at the fence, so why not now? Well, after about two rides down, I could tell this adventure was more risky, especially after an abrupt stop flung Justus off his sled and on to his face a moment earlier… it was after this run that I looked up and prayed, ”Lord, keep us safe,” then pushed off.

When I think back, that prayer should have been the signal light- NATE, THIS IS TOO RISKY!!! But the connection was lost on me. Maybe it was frozen. Either way, we began the descent.

I pushed Justus’ sled ahead of mine, holding firmly to the side, then we began to turn around, but not quickly enough to 360 before hitting the fence, so I began correcting with my free hand and heels. I wasn’t able to correct quick enough, so I dug my remaining elbow into the icy snow until doing so forced open my grip on the other sled.

“NO!!” echoed my voice in the valley of ice and emptiness. Can you hear the eerie music? And the almost-worst happened. I watched in horror, and practically slow-motion as my 2-year-old cruised down the hill unable to influence his own trajectory. The impact was now up to the Lord and Justus’ guardian angel.

My eyes followed, first and foremost, the course of his little cranium. Justus endured a fractured skull when he was 8 months old, so another could be fatal. The distance closed between him and the metal post of the fence, but his head was clear. His face did contact the chain-links, giving him a bloody lip, but nothing more. After I had raced to his side, his cries surfaced and his small voice indicated a total surprise: ”My leg hurts, dada!! My leg!!” I was shocked. No, it can’t be too serious. Didn’t he miss the pole completely? I looked down to his leg and his boot looked like it had been almost flung off his foot. Was this like that before? I took the boot off to check that everything was in tact, then touched a couple spots to see where it hurt the most. After getting a better sense for his pain level (difficult to determine with little ones), I breathed warm air on his exposed leg and carried him home.

This was a Saturday night around 6pm. We returned home and talked with Katie about the accident while taking off Justus’ snow clothes. What should we do? We were slightly skeptical that it was a broken bone, but there were a few needs to be met before making the decision to pursue urgent care. We set our wounded warrior on the couch and turned on some Charlie Brown to distract him from the pain. He was in a daze as we brought him dinner and ice packs. We asked him a few questions about the leg, but only after a little while came the true test. He had just effectively become potty trained a few months prior and he was now asking to go to the bathroom. Katie and I exchanged looks and I said the words, preparing myself to catch him. ”Okay, go ahead.” But it only took one step for him to fall to the ground in tears. I embraced him and brought him to the bathroom while Katie called the Urgent Care that was closing soon. We got ready, Justus and I (Katie needed to stay with the baby), and went to the doctor. He was such a good sport through the whole process, though we could only secure a wrap until Monday, when we would drive to a pediatric specialist for a kid’s cast. Justus chose orange. And the doctors gave us a boot to strap on for him to walk around, which he was doing within the hour, hah!

A few blessings along the way: 1. He didn’t hit his head. 2. The Urgent Care hadn’t closed yet, that Saturday night, though we almost missed them. 3. We still had our really good insurance from when Katie was a teacher. 4. Several church families came to support us with meals and company. 5. Justus was a champ and healed in 5 weeks!

A FEW OTHER THINGS:

–We contracted head colds at least 3 different times this winter.

Can you say ”Isolation..?”

–Our church cancelled 3 Sundays because several families contracted Covid 19.

Can you say it again…

–Katie spent a ton of time quarantining inside with two active, needy little boys on very irregular sleep

(talk about cabin fever!!… and she’s my hero)

–I took on one more class than I probably should have (just to get it out of the way while everything’s online, but it added a significant amount of course work)

This semester I took 5 courses: Theology of Evangelism and Missions, Philosophy of Christian Apologetics , Doctrine of God, Greek 3, and Medieval Church.

This workload, along with the other compilation of events, resulted in a theme of thoughts on “Wilderness” which I hope to share sometime. Here below is a prayer that expresses some of those deliberations:

“Here in the Wilderness, Oh Lord, You have brought me. This is what I have requested and this is what you have given. As you led your rebellious son, Israel, through the wilderness for 40 years to cleanse and purify them for the land and work ahead; as you led David first to the sheepfold then devoted him and his mighty men to the chase, for his benefit and ours and especially your great glory; as you brought faithful Job through a time of loss and grief and struggle and revelation; as you led Jonah into the belly of a great fish for three days to refine him and redirect him toward your path; as you brought your Nation through 400 years of silence and exile in preparing them for the revelation of your Son; as you brought up the prophet John in the wilderness to observe the Nazarite vows and pursue a lifestyle of mortification and self-denial, even there proclaiming the way of the Lord; as you drove your only Son into the wilderness for 40 days, both after his baptism, at which point your Holy Spirit descended upon him, and yet before his ministry could begin (for he needed to persevere through the temptation of the devil); as you’ve brought many men before me and will faithfully bring many men after me through the forge of grueling study and financial dependence (which was to the demise of some, who chose the pleasures of the world, as did Demas, in place of your glory) ; So you are leading me into a time of drought, famine and particularly difficult labor so that I may take part in the pool of faithful laborers, under-shepherds, and care-takers of your beloved, yet frequently wavering flock. I, like them, am simply a sheep. But you have called for faithful ministers of your Word and I have set out to be one among many who have gone before me, will come after me, and the many who will go along with me.

Forgive me for doubting your calling and your good pleasure of refinement in this place. Forgive my poor attitude in the midst of this trial. Forgive my lack of time in prayer and in your Word, which I thirst after as the deer pants for water- yet the spring waits ever before me. Allow and drive me, by your Holy Spirit, to spend more time in your Word and in Prayer, that I might see you and know you more, that I might seek you and desire you more, that I might have you and give you more. Have mercy, Lord, have mercy.”

(Prayer journal 3.4.21)

-Katie and I both continued attending some groups.

I continued attending and helping lead a seminary men’s accountability/life group. This has certainly kept up my vitality in the midst of so much isolation.

Katie continued meeting with a few groups of women, or individuals, to maintain her sanity by accumulating other adults to talk with.

-And, of course, Baby Pictures!!

Salem is growing like a sprout! Here are some great memories and moments from the last few months.

Conclusion:

So there you have it! A Broken leg, lots of sickness and isolation, an extra heavy course load, and some emotional hardships, but in the end, we are all together, we are sure that this is where we are meant to be right now, and the Lord is growing us all in many ways.

Please continue to pray for our journey, especially that our faith in God would remain strong, and even grow stronger, as we continue moving within his plan for us.

Many thanks to you, our reader! The Lord be with you.

Letters (5 Months In)

(Finished March 2021)

Justus’ Letters

Before we left for PA, we studied the alphabet thoroughly with our son, Justus. He was becoming very confident in his mastery, but 2 years old was still too early to understand how letters fit together to make words. When we began packing for the move, we packed up those lessons, too, and settled for the good old ABC’s song to keep them in his memory. When we finally made the move, we returned the letter magnets to the face of the fridge and the alphabet placemat for additional encouragement, but left his letter-learning quest to Father Fate (the non-existent entity usually blindly trusted for bringing good out of atrophy) and he seems to have done his job- nothing. Last week I asked Justus to name a few letters of the magnets on our fridge and he was clueless, calling out numbers and colors instead! This is a smart cookie, mind you, so he was either mischievously shooting for a reaction or trying to distract from the fact that he’d completely forgotten.

Gift from Lydia Myers via Shutterfly, 2018

Mercy’s Letters

Patiently beckoning us at the transition doorway between living and dining room before the big move, sat a basket of letters and gifts from some of our most beloved people in Lynchburg. While my love language is not gift-giving per se, this pile was sacred and not to be torn into like a two-year-old’s loosely wrapped Christmas present. These letters were the verbal expressions from the ones we’ve loved and served for 10 years, the seeming capitalization on a huge emotional investment. Some letters were short and to the point, some rushed, some early (and, consequently, doubled- taking advantage of another opportunity to praise), some late (to produce something more purposeful and sincere). Some letters weren’t there at all. Some came in the form of conversation upon our last weeks. Some came by way of helping hands. And each word, or at least each sentiment, has been grafted in my mind to be remembered as long as I’m able.

It should be obvious, then, that my love language is words of affirmation. Some of my favorite personalities in the world are people like my dad, my friends William Wingate, Will Baker and Jeremy Leong, and my son Justus, because vocalization is part of their very being. It’s of their very essence. Their speech is almost inseparable from their thoughts. Consequently, they both always speak their heart’s intentions (which puts a suspicious, analytical mind like mine to rest) and often stick both feet in their mouths. Yet they are some of the best orators I know!

One reason their personality type works with mine is that I function oppositely, often coming to the right words only after the topic has changed. But my seeming patience and poise are admirable against their seeming wittiness … and they usually tell me so, haha!

Either way, it is because of this love language of mine that I highly treasure these letters from our Mercy family. I’ve gone through them a few times already – the long, intentional ones a bit more often than the speed-written ones – and I’ve been searching for a way to be reminded of them more frequently without overloading my office-space wall. And one day, while reading the early chapters of an 800 page systematic theology book, it hit me! A letter from a good friend or congregant who thoroughly appreciated our ministry was just what I needed in the midst of a daunting volume.

I am now using the letters as bookmarks in the course books I’m reading. As I return to a book or finish my reading for the day, I’ll reflect on precious friendships and fond memories. I’ll remember their loving actions and words toward me while we were together. And I’ll pray for them as I thank God for His provision of their friendship.

God’s Letter

In my Systematic Theology course this past semester, we took 12 weeks to investigate “Prolegomena.” I know what you’re thinking: “That’s 5 syllables!” (More like “Prego-wha?!”) Yeah, I had no clue what that meant until about 8 weeks into the course- even after they had explained its definition, etymology, function in Systematic Theology, and reasons for not coming up with an easier name! But I think I understand now. It means “first” (Greek pro) “words” (Greek legomena) and it’s a form of Epistemology (6 syllables! And the philosophical term for ‘foundations of thought and belief‘). These “first words” are the foundations for every core belief or intention and, more specifically to ministry, the foundations on which we persuade others to leave false beliefs to follow Christ. If that foundation is weak, people will either decide to disregard you, or follow you into a pit.

That said, consider this for a moment: how can you be sure of your heavenly destination? Is it because of certain supernatural experiences you’ve had in the past? Is it the daily consistency of your obedience to God? Is it simply blind faith? I hope, for your sake, that your hope rests on none of these, for they will only prove to be sinking sand for the soul.

The only stable foundation on which to stand for such assurance and hope against that most dreadful enemy, death, is the very Word from God’s own mouth.

I need encouragement from true friends. I need letters to remind me of my value and worth. I need friendship to offer me opportunities to give and receive, attaching meaning to my life. But, while these things are all daily needs they are only temporal. There is coming a day when my race will be complete. Death comes to us all. What happens after that?

Most religions address this question. Many come excruciatingly close..

If the One who made you, who lives outside of time and space but sees into all of it like a multidimensional magnifying glass, happened to tell you what’s waiting on the other side of death, would you listen? I hope so! But if you’re like me, I struggle with the lines between faith and sight like the apostle Thomas. After his friends reported the miraculous resurrection of Jesus to Thomas, he said “I will not believe unless I touch my finger to his hands and my hand to his side!” (Paraphrase from Jn. 20:25). Yet, Jesus says, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (v. 29).

All we have are reports now, kept in the book we call the “Bible.” And we must, like the disciples, verify its trustworthiness, and, unlike the disciples, do so without the physical evidence of Christ’s bodily presence. All we have now are God’s words, spoken and breathed out by the Holy Spirit and written by the hand of a certain, select few.

Can they be trusted? Well… what are the alternatives?

We could choose another religion and face the same questions. We could choose no religion and face the same questions… We could also just choose not to face the questions at all!

If you do plan to take courage and face the questions, though, Christian or not, you must confront the notion that resolution requires faith. We all believe that something is worth living for. Some of us believe in something worth dying for. But few of us believe in something worth dying toward. We’re all going somewhere when we die, but is that place somewhere worth existing? Most who believe in eternity might say “yes,” but I would challenge their motivations. Is it “yes” because you will finally receive all the material success you could never achieve on earth? Is it “yes” because you will finally be with those you cherished so deeply while on earth? The second is admirable and I sympathize with it, but even that is still unfulfilling. Some of my favorite people write the most inglorious letters, or say hurtful things, or forget to read my mind when I’m really trying to communicate something with body language… I need to know that eternity can provide me with something more fulfilling than all the joys life has already offered… combined! Nothing has proved completely satisfying to my needy soul, nothing other than the friendship with my Lord, Jesus Christ.

I can only know that I know that I know this kind of ending is possible by the report of his eye-witnesses, recorded in the Holy Scriptures of the Bible and both guided and guarded by the work of the Holy Spirit of God through the ages. Experiences can help confirm that truth. Obedience can help confirm that truth. But only the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that very truth. The only letter that forms the very foundation for my confidence, both in possible joy in life and in life after death, is God’s Love Letter. There I find compliments beyond compare (I’m accepted, valued, loved, known, heard, protected, and delivered) and truths which both challenge and comfort me perfectly.

The most important words ever spoken or written were not our own, but God’s. Let us not forsake to rehearse and repeat His letters to our hearts, minds and souls daily, lest we forget how valuable they truly are.

From: “The Jesus Storybook Bible,” Sally Lloyd-Jones

Some of my favorite passages:

”The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zeph. 3:17

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants…” John 15:13-15a

“But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out… I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.” John 10:2-3, 11

“Behold, the Lord GOD comes with might, and his arm rules for him; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him. He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” Isaiah 40:1-11

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you…” Isaiah 43:1b-4a

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and ye your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?… Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ Or ‘What shall we drink?’ Or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, an your Heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matt. 6:26, 31-33

-And now… I need to go practice alphabet letters with Justus.

3 Months In

(Finished March 2021)

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith– more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire– may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

(highlights in bold)

When are we more likely to set our trust in God: when all our needs are met or when none of them are? I think you know the answer. It’s those times of duress and insurmountable difficulty that bring us to our knees in prayer and pleading. I wish I would pray just as well in good times as in bad, but as I look through God’s word, neediness is actually a prerequisite for salvation. It is actually a gracious gift to suffer and feel in need- for it is only there that we can test whether God is actually true to His promises. We must know that we are insufficient to provide ourselves with joy, peace, health, life, and especially salvation. Sure, we can adjust our attitudes to claim a brighter perspective on life. Sure we can change our diets to benefit our health and elongate our lifespan… but do we really think those self-administered changes are going to last forever? The wealthy certainly have better means to delay the inevitable, building walls of insurance around their valuables, but, frankly, loss of joy, health, peace.. life.. is just that: inevitable. This may evoke fear in you. Fear is not an altogether negative emotion, though. It is built in to propel us toward trusting in God. Most of us, though, find it paralyzing to give God control over these areas of our lives.

Jesus Christ was asked by the rich young ruler, in Matthew 19, what one must do to obtain eternal life. Jesus says to “sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me” (v.21). Now, how would you feel about selling your only bed? How about your only car? How about your entire house and everything in it, including that one thing you would go back for in the event of a fire…?

Have you ever pulled weeds? Sometimes they have small roots and they are easy to pluck out of the ground for a future bonfire. Sometimes they have longer roots, either deep down or spread over a wider area. I recently was tasked with pulling what seemed to be a small crop field of neck-high weeds. I would dig a shovel-length or two down around each thick root and yank and pull and tug until the root snapped and left me with the upper mass. The most frustrating part was that the roots were so thick and long that I can’t say that I saw a single root tip. Every last one of those vile weeds left their core in the dirt to flower again next spring…

Sometimes a change in diet or an adjustment of perspective is as quick and easy as the small weeds that give us no trouble at all to pluck. But Jesus makes known to us the ‘treasures’ that have sunk their roots deep into our hearts, things we have come to rely on. things that we claim to ‘need.’ Is it comfort and stability? Is it a relationship? Is it productivity? Or the dream you hope to attain?

In what do you trust to make you finally happy? What is it that gives you identity or hope or confidence?

These are the things we’ve been addressing already in this seminary career. Only 3 months in. The question runs constantly in our minds: “Are we really supposed to be here?” I find myself constantly comparing the wheat to the weeds. In reality, weeds grow faster, they spread out more abundantly, and sometimes they even look more appealing than the good plants! But everyone knows they are really a poison to the garden. Most of life offers us opportunities to compare ourselves. I’ve struggled not to compare myself with my peers, but it is impossible not to notice those bestowed with an abundance of knowledge, or heart, or holiness. We’ve struggled not to compare our current situation with the dream-jobs we had before this calling. “Are we really supposed to be here?”

We’ve struggled through anxious prayers about finances, the health and wellbeing of our boys, the surrendering of old dreams. “Are we really supposed to be here?”

We’ve wrestled with adjusted job descriptions and schedules, with sleepless nights as new parents, with isolation (being in a new place in the middle of coronavirus). “Are we really supposed to be here?”

A common way to begin most post-secondary education is to throw as much work at a student as possible in their first semesters, so as to ask, “Are you sure you want to pursue this career/calling? It’s a ton of work, you need to fit into specific molds, and, oh yeah, it’s really expensive. Are you sure you don’t want to spend your money and efforts somewhere more convenient?” Or “Are you really supposed to be here?”

This is what they call the ‘weeding process’. Fitting 🙂

There’s another type of weed that is similar to the last one mentioned (i.e. the deep root one). Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 13 about a master who plants grain in his fields all to find out, soon after, that a rival has planted weeds all around the good seed and the plants begin to grow together, the bad strangling out the good. The competition of values within our hearts works similarly to this word picture. When the Lord plants the good seed of His Gospel story and the gifts of His Spirit, those plants grow. But the devil wants to dissuade and distract us from tending to these good seeds and finding other comparable ones to nurture. The problem is: they are not actually comparable. They grow quickly, they spread quickly, they even often look more appealing.. but they are poisonous. The Lord watches as we neglect the truly nutritious plants for the fake ones and he has a choice: pull them both or wait until the harvest to separate the evil from whatever little good produce is left. Praise the Lord for His patience and mercy! The master says “Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.” (v.30). In another place, God says his word will not return to Him void, or without effect. He will not pull out the good seed of the Word within us, because it is the best part of us, the part most like Christ, the part that knows God and loves Him and trusts him. We must tend to the good grain and pluck out the weeds quickly, before they strangle the wheat. But if that process has begun already, trust that God will eventually bring justice and tear those things from us without utterly destroying us.

What does this all have to do with the verses at the top? The values of the weeds of the world and the values of the good seed of the Word will always be at odds until the Final Judgment of God. On that Day the dross and dirt and weeds will be recognized for what they truly are – vile, poisonous, thieving – while the wheat and precious metals are brought to their completeness in “praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:7). You may have noticed two types of fire here. The Matthew passage brings our attention to a fire that will burn at harvest-time, or Judgment Day, burning up all that which is evil. The fire in Peter’s letter, though, is very different. This is a fire reserved for the believer, and it actually proves to be what saves him from that eternal fire of Judgment. That faith which is genuine is one that has been tested by trial and temptation and doubt, but resurfaces with a newness, a shine, an unfading polish if you will.

I once was told that seminary has a similar furnace-like effect: it will make or break. It will differentiate between the wheat and the tares. It will drive several to newly invigorated faith and others to unbelief. I pray, and I ask for your prayers, that my family will emerge from each season of new testing here with a deeper surrender to God’s will over ours and God’s word over ours– that He might pluck the weeds before they wrap themselves around what is truly precious.

And lastly, while we are on the topic of plants and fires, allow me to consider one last passage. In Matthew 6:28-33, Jesus continues his ‘sermon on the mount’ by saying “And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious… But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Praises & Prayer:

Our new home church, Calvary OPC, has been more than generous since the birth of Salem in bringing us meals all the way through December!

The Lord provided an on-campus friend for Nate to study with, while most students are studying from home and Nate needs a study space away from home. His name is Jay Dent.

A local student family welcomed us for Thanksgiving dinner when our plans changed last minute. Thanks Hope & Garrett!

Nate and Jay began a men’s accountability group with some other students.

About every 4 weeks of intense reading, Nate gets ‘Reader’s Block’ (not a form of sunscreen), which gives him headaches and forces him to rest when he needs to work.

Katie has been struggling with the isolation, compounded by an over-active 2-year-old who’s coping with a big change.

Thank you for your prayers and for praising along with us. Glory to God.

Salem Bryan

(Finished March 2021)

AND THE POST YOU‘VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!

!!Salem Bryan Fowler is Born!!

(Read the bold for the highlights)

The date was approaching. The Lord had kindly and sovereignly planned a steady pregnancy for Katie in the midst of an unsteady time. Moving, starting a new phase of life, you know the gist. Baby was due Sunday, October 25 and the nesting was almost complete. We bought a smaller bedside bassinet, more appropriate to the size of our small room. We sold a (recently purchased) saggy futon and tried again with a pull-out couch for Katie’s parents to sleep on when they visited. We had all the hospital bags prepped and all the refrigerator items together in a corner for quick and easy extraction when the time came. We had the infant car seat strapped in and ready. And this was all done like 2 weeks ahead of time– people advised us that the 2nd kid comes quicker than the 1st… and… technically he did, but we’re not there yet.

So, in late October, the first semester of seminary was well underway and Katie was keeping busy with Justus and being a home-maker and making new friends and trying to go on frequent walks… you know, the works. Katie was ready… but… it wasn’t really her decision. Now, I can tell you from first-hand experience that Katie is a cuddle-bug and she can get very comfortable, very quickly, while cuddling and fall right asleep, for hours (or at least she could get hours in before kids). Why am I telling you this? Salem seems to either share this quality or really appreciate that quality in his momma, because this boy was comfortable, very comfortable! Like 6 days past due comfortable..

(((((In fact, we had just met a couple, Alden and Taylor Groves, who had recently made the trek to WTS from Charlottesville, VA, for their first year of seminary. The Groves were due with their first-born on Oct. 30, but little Theo decided to trade weeks with Salem and come on the 23rd. Feel free to follow their story by contacting Alden at alden.d.groves@gmail.com)))))

Katie’s parents made plans to come stay with us, starting the 25th. At first we were worried they’d miss the birth, but as the time drew nearer, we worried he’d actually miss them! The second day of their visit, the 26th, Katie had an appointment and was discouraged to find that she was only 2cm dilated. But a look of determination marked her brow and she designed to work this baby down no matter the personal cost (okay, within reason, but it needed to sound intense so you don’t get bored). That evening, she went for an hour walk while her mom watched Justus. Her dad and I went to the seminary to study, as we were both enrolled in classes (him for a ThM). And by the time dinner was set on the table, we all waited patiently to get a read on Katie. Well, as most of you know, it’s very difficult to get a read on a pregnant woman, especially when she’s both past her due date and a very driven, efficient individual. Dinner might have been quite silent if it were all adults. Thankfully, though, a very excited 2-and-a-half-year-old gave us other, more important things to dwell on- like the fact that we were apparently “having a PARTY with Mammy and Pappy!” Yes, every evening they were with us was a party to energetic, little Justus. And after Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday yielded no progress for Katie, we decided it was time to make this ‘party’ official!

Yes, Tuesday came and went, with close to 4 hours of walking for Katie. Wednesday, one of her feet was paying for it, so she took it easy afterward. Thursday we shared a pizza & movie night with the grandparents. But Friday, we stepped our partying up a notch (for a 2-and-a-half-year-old, that is). Katie, her mother and Justus went to the Dollar Store to buy party hats and decorations and balloons. They made brownies and bought ice cream, and by the time Katie’s dad and I returned from the seminary, the festivities were underway! We had dinner with all our respective party hats on, Justus made sure his was orange and mine was blue, and then we ate DESSERT!!! (Yeah, we don’t ever give Justus sugar so this was a huge treat and after that point it is always my unspoken, appointed duty to help him drain that energy by bedtime). And then we danced the night away with everybody’s favorite songs: “Baby Shark” and “Gummy Bear.” I mean, come on, who doesn’t like listening to those songs… over and over again… for an hour…? Okay, we did put a cap at 3 or 4 times through, I think, but it really was a blast.

That night, Katie began having contractions (we must have partied the little guy down a bit, or made him jealous). The next day, Katie, Mom and Justus went to a thrift store to buy some things.. nothing specific, just some therapy spending. This is actually something Katie never does, so I was all for her treating herself. And what might Katie return with if NOT a (humorously tight) Superman costume for Justus and some new kid’s books (she would do that- goes therapy shopping and buys nothing for herself, but several things for others). But you KNOW that little boy put his suit on before we could put it in the washing machine, and before we could say Justus League, he was running around the house watching to see if his cape would catch air. What a precious memory. Here’s a snap shot:

I stayed home Saturday to keep an eye on the family and help Katie with whatever she needed. Contractions became regular, but spread throughout the day, so she continued about her business, (pausing to focus every once in a while). At 4:30, Katie, Justus and I went on a walk to visit some llamas at a farm across the street. Along the way, we saw a couple tables with goodie bags laid out on small tables outside people’s houses…? Oh! It’s Halloween! Is our baby going to be born on Halloween? No, if anything, he’ll be born on Reformation Day (Oct. 31, 1517, Martin Luther nailed a very important piece of paper to the door of the Catholic Church in Gutenberg, Germany, if you didn’t know already- great story, look it up). By 5pm, contractions were 4-6 minutes apart and we were on our way back home to eat dinner and labor in the tub before making the big decision. On a side note, an opportunity/necessity availed itself in the form of last-minute bedroom rearrangement. We had swapped sleeping arrangements with the in-laws to give them more privacy and time to sleep while our little megaphone ran around early each morning. Without getting into too many details, we needed to move the bed and dresser for practical reasons (which have been of great benefit down the line) and the timing seemed perfect to do so around 6:30pm.. at least for me. Katie, for some odd reason (sarcasm), was struggling to focus and make decisions on where things would work best.. hmm.. maybe this wasn’t the right time…

By 8pm, Katie was laboring in the bath tub with scented candles and calming music while her mother and I were frequently visiting to help or distract her. By 9:30, contractions were 3.5 minutes apart, the car was packed, Justus was in bed (the last evening as an only child- it was wonderful while it lasted, dear boy, but there is so much more in store for you), and Katie was getting dressed to straddle a car seat on the way to the hospital. We arrived to the hospital at 10:15, got set up in a triage room where we found out that Katie was 7cm dilated, and quickly walked her to a labor&delivery room to get her monitored up. The question still loomed- will he be a Reformation (Halloween) baby or an All Saints Day baby? He was definitely riding the line.

Katie and I swayed together and rehearsed several of our exercises while we listened to Jon Foreman, Bon Iver, Ellie Holcomb, and others. The monitors on baby’s heart just stayed as steady as could be, which is really a good thing but doctors are usually looking for a spike to know that the time is drawing near- yeah that never happened. At 11:20ish, Katie’s water broke naturally while rotating on a yoga ball and the rest moved quickly after the excitement. All of a sudden, Katie’s eyes widened, her voiced raised and projected the words, “He’s coming!” (This is where the speed of delivery was quicker for boy #2 than for Justus). Our nurse told her to get on the bed and not to push yet. She waddled the few steps and lifted a leg up to the bed.. I’ll skip some details, but I was preparing to catch our second-born, until, to my relief, Katie made it onto the bed and 5-7 women efficiently entered, moved me to my wife’s side, and told Katie it was time to PUSH! Seconds later, we heard our son’s voice, I cut the umbilical cord, and we held our little Salem Bryan for the first time.

At 11:27pm our little Reformation (Halloween) baby was born, Salem Bryan Fowler. Yes, several nurses asked us if we had planned the name “Salem” around a Halloween theme. “Well that’s a twist!” We thought. But it’ll be a fun talking point when he gets to grade school. We got to take him back home after two nights, and we were thrilled to hear, upon our return, that Justus was on his best behavior for Mammy and Pappy that weekend. The grandparents were able to stay and visit/help another week- so thankful- and then we began life as a family of four.

So, all those details for a relatively easy pregnancy and birth, but every birth has a story and we believe it ought to be told. Every life has the value to deeply treasure these introductions into the world. Salem is a unique and precious boy. We are so thankful the Lord chose us to parent him. Give us strength, Lord to guide him in your ways, and well.

So why “Salem Bryan”? First, Bryan is Katie’s dad’s middle name and Justus has my dad’s middle name, so we’re keeping those in the family. Salem is derived from the Hebrew word for ’peace,’ “Shalom.” This was a name I have had in my mind since college. It was there that a dear friend summarized my life-pursuit in words. Will Wingate said, on our scenic route to a music rehearsal in Goode, VA, “Nate, your life’s ambition is peace.” I thought for a minute, then responded with, “yes.. I think you’re right.” I clarified the recognition that peace always comes at a cost in a sinful world- there is no peace without the vicious battle against evil, and I am willing to fight that fervently and persistently alongside my fellow man, but yes, ultimately for peace. “One day,” I said to my friend, “I pray we can sit on porch rocking chairs in heaven, remembering the laughs from our past and making new ones, enjoying the fullness of peace.” “Smoking our pipes,” he added. Since then, Salem has been a strong option for a boy name, given the opportunity, but I would have to make sure it was a fit. The option was available for Justus, but his names all fit him just perfectly- he was not a Salem. This little one, though, remaining in the warmth and comfort of the womb for an extra week, weighing in at 6 lbs 15 oz, with the softest little cry and the most alert newborn eyes, this… this was Salem. We knew. Praise the Lord.

Quick Updates about Salem since November:

The first 2-3 weeks were rough for Justus, as they normally are for siblings, but he leveled out and has come to love the family addition, learning even how to entertain his new audience when Momma is working. Salem is eating well, he is a very happy baby, though he has mild colic. He still wakes up about every hour or two, which is fairly wearing for Katie. Prayers appreciated. He smiles all the time, and loves looking people right in the eyes. By 3 months he was rolling well, and started to sympathize with Justus, crying whenever he heard his older brother crying. At 4 months old, he is becoming a talent at reaching for the items he desires, particularly when on my lap at the dinner table, haha! He seems to be inclined to music, which makes me proud. And he loves to be moving around and carried at all times, so momma has been going Ecuadorian and carrying that baby e’rywhere! There you have it! We’ll let you know more along the way 🙂 Much love to you all!

One Month In

One Month In: Processing the Move

(written September-ish, 2020)

Most of you surely know the stages of moving from the place you’ve long called “home” to the place where the Lord has guided you. Sometimes it’s a better situation, sometimes worse.

But the stages are mostly the same:

{read the bold portions to catch a summary}

Making the decision: You weigh every option in your head, pro’s and con’s. You work out the numbers- will it work financially? You pray.. or at least you know you should, but it seems so impractical. You talk with wise people about it. You consider the amount of effort required to uproot and replant (more difficult the larger the family, or ‘plant’ given the metaphor). You pray some more.. or think about it, then ignore the impulse. You conclude, happily or not, that moving is best.

Early Stage Planning: You start looking for housing in the new area .. well that was discouraging.. You start a packing list. You consider finishing all those house projects on the honey-do list. You work out the moving cost numbers. Ouch. You momentarily grieve the loved ones you’ll be leaving. You look back at the numbers. You search for housing again. You pray? You consider how to tell the kids. You consider how lonely it will feel for a time. You tear up a bit when no one’s looking (or stuff your feelings and wait for them to explode later; to each their own). You distract yourself by looking back at the numbers… hmm… You rethink this decision.

Small Victories: Something comes through for you- your local connection finds the perfect house or apartment; or a big financial gift comes in from a family member; or, you learn about an excellent perk to living in the new area.

Philly Skyline (Justus fell on his face the week before)

Setbacks: Your car breaks down.. seriously?! Or, that house gets taken off the market before you get a change to pray about it (let’s be real though..)! Or, your boss adds an extra load of work as a parting gift- that certainly won’t be missed. Or, a pandemic sweeps the earth! (yes, that one)

Upward progress: Housing is set. You buy a replacement car. The family is actually kind of excited. One closet is completely empty! The bedrooms are getting there. Decorations are coming off the wall. Furniture is being sold or given away. That’s where my remote went! Quick, sweep before the customers arrive! A few more of the honey-do projects are complete. The moving truck is reserved and movers are confirmed to help. The date draws near.

Reminiscing: You visit that friend or church service for the last time. You say goodbye to your coworkers. You sell your old, but memorable, car. You visit some of your favorite places for the last time. You sigh a lot.

Moving Out: The day is here and everyone bubbles with excitement and anticipation! This is the day you’ve been planning for and everything’s going into that truck, neatly or not. It will be long and laborious, but you’re determined that your sleepless nights will not have been in vain. You get breakfast and the truck. Your team arrives somewhat on time. They pack everything into the truck.. maybe too efficiently? It all goes so fast! Then it’s time. You give hugs and say final goodbyes. Then you climb up into the intimidating (for better or worse) vehicle and press the gas. You look back. Don’t we always look back? The memories flow for a second, then your navigator pulls out the map- or the phone- for the first directive. You travel. You sing together. You listen to podcasts or audio books. You make the necessary fuel stops. You make some considerably less than necessary potty stops- better in the restroom than the car, though. Back on the road, you text your move-in team. You call for a pizza delivery a little after arrival time. You patiently endure each other’s over-tired moodiness and finally decide to lift up a desperate situational pray for deliverance!

And then…

Moving In: You arrive. Some movers are waiting for you, some on their way. You hope not to come across grumpy in the small-talk, but you just want to be done. Your move-in team works hard, though slightly confused at your system or fatigue-affected decisions, and you’ve barely had time to explore the place before boxes are being piled wherever there’s floor space. Everyone gets fed (even if your inability to count food portions makes you dig into your personal stash). Movers leave. It’s quiet.. and messy. It’s not home. You do what you can with daylight, then prepare for bed. You forgot to set up the bed frame. Mattress on the floor it is. Drifting to sleep comes easy tonight.

Familiarizing: This strange place you’ve tried to convince yourself to bear that most sacred title: “Home.” But it’s not home; not yet, at least. Where is the closest grocery store? Gas station? Park? What do we do with our trash? Where should we go to church? Should we introduce ourselves to the neighbors or wait for them to do so? Why does the toilet make that sound? Why does the fridge make that sound? Why does the neighbor make that sound? Ah… okay. You begin to understand. People here are different, but you think you can learn to get used to it. Your kids make new friends before you. You eventually decide on a church. Your workmates are mostly friendly. Your neighbors are mostly friendly. You’ll adjust, and so will they. You begin to label that place you come back to each night “home.”

Joy: There are some really positive implications to living here. The house is in a nice location. The job is rewarding. The house is almost livable now. There’s a park nearby for the kids. Everyone’s getting into a routine. Thanks, Lord. Forgive my lack of prayer in this. Help me to trust You in difficult times like these.

Missing home: As joyful as it may be to plug in and get connected with those who will be your new family, the relationships are still shallow. They don’t have the history of your old ones; that comes with time. You find yourself re-experiencing culture shock as you drive, shop or catch local small talk. Add COVID’s stringent mandates which discourage large gatherings and promote home offices, and… it’s lonely. The sadness of missing home means something positive though: that you lived right in your last station of life. You loved well. You enjoyed the sights and experiences and circumstances. And you may learn to appreciate them more at a permanent distance, as I do. Sure there are some regrets, some relationships that weren’t well addressed. I think that will be most people in most places, but all you can do is resolve to work those things out more carefully in your new location, and appreciate each new circumstance all the more.

Settling In: You’ve finally accepted that this is where you are. You try to hang on to the beloved relationships of your former life, but, frankly, many of them fall off the radar. You trust that God has you here for a reason, and it’s good. Furnishings fill the space neatly with a renewed touch of flare. New routines are established and you’re back to a normal diet and sleep schedule.

Moving truly takes more time than the simple packing and unpacking. For those who don’t move much, the process could take a whole year or more to return to normalcy, both physically and emotionally! Well, that took up more space than expected, but thank you for following along. Here’s the Update:

Update

(As of September)

{Praise the Lord with us in these answers to prayer}

We have decided on a new home church, called Calvary OPC. They have been so welcoming and hospitable, in perfect balance with their intentionality in every aspect of ministry. They are Christ-centered, multi-cultural, multi-generational, children-friendly and love to sing.

The Richards Family: Joel Richards, a current 3rd year student, helped us move in on our arrival date. Within the week, his wife Eszti (short for Eszter, she is Hungarian) contacted Katie, before ever meeting us, to offer child care for Justus when baby should decide to come (Due Oct. 25). She also hosts a mom’s group in which Katie has thoroughly enjoyed participating. Their little boy, Charlie (in the picture below), is a month older than Justus and they are best friends! They have had several play dates since our arrival. The Richards also have a little girl they call “Rosie Posie,” as does Justus now.

Mercy Pres. helped pay for seminary books. Though I wasn’t able to get ahead in reading, I am abundantly grateful for the opportunity to have so many books on my shelf by which to bolster my usefulness and generosity to those I will be serving.

A generous donor offered enough financial help to assure my focus on studies and Katie’s ability to stay home with Justus and the newborn. As a result, I’ve been able to cut down my work hours significantly.

The first day of school was an encouraging success! I rode my bike the 3 miles there and free lunch was offered after the initiating Chapel service, at which I was able to meet some professors and fellow students!

Our apartment feels more like home: we’ve invested in several furnishings, practically starting from scratch, and are starting to feel like this is a place we can come to and rest.

For more Prayer Requests & Praises, consult “Morning Mercies New” as they are very similar Up to this point.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and give you peace.

Our Story – Part 1 of 4

How It All Began

It all started in the Fall of 2012. Katie was a fourth year in college with no interest in dating and I (Nate) was a third year who was falling in love…. Katie and I both went to a university that was well-known for its MRS. Degree (you know, the degree that’s only completed when a young woman receives a ring… and then stops her education to become a home-maker). While I was okay with the notion of meeting a girl in class, some of the stories (and social media displays) had us thankful that was not God’s plan for us. My dad frequently said “you’ll most likely find her, not where you must be but where you want to be.” And just like the prophet said, we met at our favorite place to be. Reformed University Fellowship (RUF) was said to be ‘a rest-stop for tired Christians and a safe-place for skeptics,’ and it was the place of our weekly refreshment after hard weeks of schoolwork. We both began attending RUF sometime around Spring 2011, and Katie and I both sang on the music team at RUF and at the church we attended, Mercy Presbyterian PCA. So we knew each other, but neither of us were interested in a relationship at the time.

Then came the retreat (c’mon, everyone knows retreats are where kids fall in love!). Fall Conference took place around November of 2012, far away in a valley of the Blue Ridge Mountains. 3 days, 7 friends, beautiful sights, refreshing worship and discussion, and no cell phone service- the perfect recipe.

It was actually the very first night, at registration, that I began to see something different in Katie. She had a sense of humor I hadn’t seen before, and she was pretty athletic. “Oh, she’s kind, too,” I began to think, ”offering her car as our second carpool vehicle. How had I missed these things? Oh well, noted for later.”

Yes, I learned a LOT about Katie that weekend, and the other stuff I knew had finally clicked. But it was everything I had been searching for in a future wife, but hadn’t found yet. (Allow me to boast about my wife for a minute). I learned that she loves the outdoors, energized by the beauty of God’s creation, and isn’t afraid to get a little muddy. She loves children, serving in the church Nursery and babysitting to help others. She loves people, and laughing, and she doesn’t see color/partiality or belittle others. She takes life at a slower pace, like me, honoring each moment as worthy of contemplation. She makes healthy choices, nutritionally, physically, spiritually, really all around. She is always offering whatever help she can provide, even at her own expense. She speaks truth even if it hurts, but none can feel attacked by her loving confrontations. She is protective of others, always doing right by the weak or unrepresented. She understands people I don’t. She thinks big picture, I don’t. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don’t. She’s emotionally consistent- I’m not. She’s disciplined and organized- I’m really trying, but I’m not. She’s as pure as an angel… I’m not.

Wait, do I even have a chance?? Hmm..

Oh, and she’s physically gorgeous! But that was obviously lower on my priority list.

2 weeks later, after more time considering whether we could work together, I popped the news. She was quite unprepared and had been determined not to fall in love her last year of college. But she spoke the truth gently, telling me she was uninterested. She revealed how much she appreciated me as a friend, though she would understand if I couldn’t handle friendship anymore. “What a loss it would be, Katie” I said, “if I couldn’t move past my emotions to retain the friendship of someone I respected so much! I’ll get over it, though it may take a short time.” So I posted sticky note reminders on my computer to review for setting my feelings aside (which I needed more and more as I felt I was getting mixed signals).

Until the day (6 months later) she reciprocated. If you haven’t thought of it yet, 6 months puts us right at the end of her senior year of college. She was a few weeks from graduating and potentially moving on to bigger and brighter things, but she told me she had feelings for me… wow…

By this time, I was falling for 2 other girls who were both sending mixed signals (because they liked other guys and couldn’t manage to tell me ‘no’ I guess?). But those were easily passed over for the true treasure which loomed constantly in the back of my mind: Katie Cashen… Wow… she liked me…

And the rest is history.

Just kidding, there’s so much more to tell. Check out Part 2 of 4 – Dating Katie

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Update

How It All Began