How It All Began
It all started in the Fall of 2012. Katie was a fourth year in college with no interest in dating and I (Nate) was a third year who was falling in love…. Katie and I both went to a university that was well-known for its MRS. Degree (you know, the degree that’s only completed when a young woman receives a ring… and then stops her education to become a home-maker). While I was okay with the notion of meeting a girl in class, some of the stories (and social media displays) had us thankful that was not God’s plan for us. My dad frequently said “you’ll most likely find her, not where you must be but where you want to be.” And just like the prophet said, we met at our favorite place to be. Reformed University Fellowship (RUF) was said to be ‘a rest-stop for tired Christians and a safe-place for skeptics,’ and it was the place of our weekly refreshment after hard weeks of schoolwork. We both began attending RUF sometime around Spring 2011, and Katie and I both sang on the music team at RUF and at the church we attended, Mercy Presbyterian PCA. So we knew each other, but neither of us were interested in a relationship at the time.
Then came the retreat (c’mon, everyone knows retreats are where kids fall in love!). Fall Conference took place around November of 2012, far away in a valley of the Blue Ridge Mountains. 3 days, 7 friends, beautiful sights, refreshing worship and discussion, and no cell phone service- the perfect recipe.
It was actually the very first night, at registration, that I began to see something different in Katie. She had a sense of humor I hadn’t seen before, and she was pretty athletic. “Oh, she’s kind, too,” I began to think, ”offering her car as our second carpool vehicle. How had I missed these things? Oh well, noted for later.”
Yes, I learned a LOT about Katie that weekend, and the other stuff I knew had finally clicked. But it was everything I had been searching for in a future wife, but hadn’t found yet. (Allow me to boast about my wife for a minute). I learned that she loves the outdoors, energized by the beauty of God’s creation, and isn’t afraid to get a little muddy. She loves children, serving in the church Nursery and babysitting to help others. She loves people, and laughing, and she doesn’t see color/partiality or belittle others. She takes life at a slower pace, like me, honoring each moment as worthy of contemplation. She makes healthy choices, nutritionally, physically, spiritually, really all around. She is always offering whatever help she can provide, even at her own expense. She speaks truth even if it hurts, but none can feel attacked by her loving confrontations. She is protective of others, always doing right by the weak or unrepresented. She understands people I don’t. She thinks big picture, I don’t. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don’t. She’s emotionally consistent- I’m not. She’s disciplined and organized- I’m really trying, but I’m not. She’s as pure as an angel… I’m not.
Wait, do I even have a chance?? Hmm..
Oh, and she’s physically gorgeous! But that was obviously lower on my priority list.
2 weeks later, after more time considering whether we could work together, I popped the news. She was quite unprepared and had been determined not to fall in love her last year of college. But she spoke the truth gently, telling me she was uninterested. She revealed how much she appreciated me as a friend, though she would understand if I couldn’t handle friendship anymore. “What a loss it would be, Katie” I said, “if I couldn’t move past my emotions to retain the friendship of someone I respected so much! I’ll get over it, though it may take a short time.” So I posted sticky note reminders on my computer to review for setting my feelings aside (which I needed more and more as I felt I was getting mixed signals).
Until the day (6 months later) she reciprocated. If you haven’t thought of it yet, 6 months puts us right at the end of her senior year of college. She was a few weeks from graduating and potentially moving on to bigger and brighter things, but she told me she had feelings for me… wow…
By this time, I was falling for 2 other girls who were both sending mixed signals (because they liked other guys and couldn’t manage to tell me ‘no’ I guess?). But those were easily passed over for the true treasure which loomed constantly in the back of my mind: Katie Cashen… Wow… she liked me…
And the rest is history.
Just kidding, there’s so much more to tell. Check out Part 2 of 4 – Dating Katie
The Fowler Four 